Dr. Stephanie Bathurst, Ph.D - Bathurst Family Therapy

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Dr. Stephanie Bathurst Ph.D, LCMFT, CPLC, CKCT, CIMMH

Dec 16, 2022

Dr. Stephanie Bathurst, Ph.D - Bathurst Family Therapy

1. What's your practice focus and who are your typical patients?

My true passion is engaging romantic partners who have lost one another by improving communication, mediating therapeutic relationship contracts to reduce conflict and ensuring need fulfillment in all 8 forms of intimacy. I work heavily alongside of members in the BDSM and Kink communities, specializing in relationship therapy and coaching for ethically non-monogamous dynamics. Sexual satisfaction, fulfillment and functioning are also a professional interest of mine. These client issues can range from incompatible sexual styles, or libidos, in a marriage to accommodating a physical disability, and treating sexual trauma or pelvic floor dysfunction. I also work well with clients of military, government and law enforcement backgrounds and the relational stressors that these lifestyles promote.

I integrate many different modalities because I believe in treating the whole system and the whole self. Rather than focusing on one problem in one area, which encourages regression, I implement complementary approaches like Integrative Medicine for Mental Health, PFilates for pelvic floor strengthening, Life Coaching for personal empowerment and motivation, and various evidence-based clinical approaches adapted to the needs of the client in front of me. I find that implementing a systemic approach yields fantastic outcomes for my clients.

2. Tell us about yourself.

I have always known that I wanted to work in this field. I love what I do. I love the intellectual challenge that each client case presents in their uniqueness as I personalize a treatment plan specifically for them. I love the human beauty in the evolution of trust, respect and positive regard that develops between a therapist / coach and their client(s) over their therapeutic journey together. I love the fulfillment that I feel knowing that the energy I expend every work day (and sometimes the expenditure can be quite a lot) is being recirculated purposefully to someone who needs it.

My motivation to start my own practice was driven by all of the reasons I love my job and the fact that mediating with insurance simply impeded my ability to do my job because it mandated time, energy, and resources each week. My practice offered me the freedom to remain out of network. Since inception in 2014, I spend my entire work week helping others heal. I think it allows me to be a better clinician.

There are many forms of intelligence. I'm proud that one of my highest forms happens to be emotional intelligence. When I was young, I struggled to understand how this was a beneficial thing: it complicated relationships, I felt overwhelmed often so I became quiet and reserved, and I lacked insight into the professional application of EQ. I'm deeply appreciative of this skillset now. My ability to pickup on subtle emotional cues and nuanced energy shifts in others can now be applied to help people better understand themselves and deepen their connection to their loved ones.

3. Tell us the story of a patient who you are most proud of helping.

This is a fantastic question and a difficult one! I have a bookshelf of moments in my mind and it's hard to choose only one.

Many years ago, I worked with a very young woman who was diagnosed with a rare from of cancer. At the time our sessions began, she had just completed her treatments and had not yet met the mile-markers for remission. Understandably, she was struggling with panic attacks, complete disconnection from her body (she felt like it had failed her and it now had strange sensations that felt foreign), and was managing some intense body image issues due to the hair loss, etc. symptoms associated with treatment.

She and I worked one on one together to help her re-develop a loving and caring relationship to her body, to recondition hyper-reactivity and anxiety onset at the touch of her port scar, and to help her gain a sense of empowerment and choice when she felt powerless. Even to this day, I feel quite proud of how much work she put into her healing journey and I am grateful to have been chosen as the support person to help her through that tough time. Happily, I can report that she did eventually qualify as being in remission and what was once an absolute hellish chapter in her life did not become the entirety of what defines her.

4. What's one of the hardest things that comes with being a practitioner in private practice?

For me, the isolation at times is what's most difficult. Although I do enjoy my solitude and independence, too much of it can lead to complacency or stuckness. In addition to the importance of continuity of care for clients, this is also why I value client collaborations with other providers so much. It's important to get other perspectives on cases, to feel fresh eyes on a topic or dynamic that you've been entrenched in.

Our field, like others in health and human services, is one that is constantly evolving. That means that we, as providers, must be constantly evolving. To me, that means more than just checking the boxes of our mandated CEU's for licensure. It means getting trained in new techniques, expanding your professional network, seeking out your own supervision or therapist even if we are far beyond the certification levels where a board tells us that we have to.

We are human beings. None of us are built to exist in isolation. We are built with an innate sense of belonging and that gets brought into our therapeutic process.

5. What are the top 3 tips you'd give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a private practice today?\

1. Get organized. Create a google drive (it's free, easy to use and auto-synchronizes updates) and develop a file system for client resources, clinician training manuals, professional referral databases, marketing, business plans and development, social media content, etc. Whether you are a one man show or you hire a team of administrators to help you run your practice, you will have more usernames and passwords than any human being can possibly remember. Create a secure system to keep track of these, as they change frequently and sometimes multiple people are needing access to the same (Ex: LastPass, shared Google pages)

2. Create and remind yourself of your anchor. Why are you here and where do you intend to go? You will be met with a lot of noise from business-preneurs who want you to join their 'magical' program and you'll hear a lot of business development recommendations that not only conflict with your goal as a provider, but sometimes with your ethics. It's a constant inundation of information that you need to mindfully process. If you cannot intentionally and mindfully assess all of that information to make sound decisions for your practice because it's just too overwhelming, contact a financial advisor who specializes in small business development for a consultation and see how you can hire a manager to carry that mental load for you.

3. So, you're struggling with imposter syndrome? Don't we all. There is not a single hard-working professional that I know (and some of them have made a significant name for themselves) who doesn't experience self-doubt. As we tell our clients, not all the thoughts in our heads are ones that we choose to own. Not all of them warrant significant meaning that should be carried over into the next moment. Sometimes, they are simply a manifestation of our desire to do good and be better. Use your longing to be a great clinician and to impact positive change for others as motivation. Know that you are not alone when Imposter Syndrome pops into your thoughts and it doesn't have to have any deepened meaning than a simple intrusion into your day. Acknowledge, redirect back to your goal and get back on track with the person and provider you know you can be.